Troy’s family asked me to write something for his memorial on October 27, 2012.  There has since been a website created in his honor.

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There Are No Words

I was the first person Troy was introduced to when he walked into his new job as a makeup artist at Glamour Shots in Barton Creek mall in 1991.  And, in that moment, he had the pleasure of walking smack dab into the middle of one of my meltdowns about wanting to go to a football game that I couldn’t get my shift covered for or something stupid like that.  If he’d only known there’d be about a brillion more meltdowns over the next 20+ years he might have thought twice about being my best friend. But, he didn’t.  And so we were.

After we met, we immediately began spending all of our time together until a few years later, the circumstances of our lives started to change.  We began to drift apart, seeing each other less and less, until one fateful night when he ran into my drunk ass at a bar.  See, when I’m upset, I tend to lecture.  And when I’m drunk and upset, well, I tend to not shut the fuck up.  And so that’s what I did.  For 45 minutes.  I confronted Troy about our deteriorating friendship.  He defended himself saying that he had grown up a military kid, and that in his experience, friends come and go.  And so I explained that I didn’t care that he had grown up a military kid, and that in the case of he and I (him and me?), there is no going; there is only coming.  He never made the mistake of leaving me again.  And I never left him either.

Earlier this week when I heard what happened from Dax I was devastated.  Many hours later I found myself on Troy’s Facebook page pouring through all of his pictures and posts looking for some indication that it wasn’t true and that there had been a huge fucking horrible mistake.  When I surrendered, I made a post myself of a video about two crazy old roommates that, when we were living together, Troy and I had watched, acted out, watched again, planned the production of, and then watched one more time just to be sure we had it down.  At the end of my Facebook video post I wrote, and I quote, “There are no words, my love.”  So when Truitt suggested that I write something in honor of my love for today, I thought, “Dude, I said there were no words.”   But, here I am.

And in keeping with the idea that there are no words:

Troy, There are no words to express how paramount you were in my life.  There are no words to express how much I owe you for taking me in and supporting me during one of the hardest times of my life. There are no words to express how special I felt each time you gifted me an awesome thrift store jacket that you’d bought out of the blue with me in mind. There are no words for how much I will miss the sound of your giggle through your words while cracking yourself up trying to get through the punch line of a crazy story.  There are no words that can express how fucking jealous I am of how good you were at doing accents. There are no words to express how good it always felt to hear you say, “I love you,” when we got off the phone.  And there are no words to express how proud I feel to call you my friend, always.

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