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I began writing this story about a month ago, got stuck, and put it aside.  And although I thought little about what this writer’s block might have represented then, I can’t seem to do anything but think about the million and one things it might mean now.

 

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What’s Good for Me Sucks for My Blog

It’s been months since the break up that resulted in me launching this blog.  And although it was a real wrist-slitter, at least I can say it kicked off my writing career.  In the wake of the split, I felt I had no choice but to write.  The heartache was palpable and effortlessly fueled my words on paper.  I felt better when I wrote and thought I kind of had a knack for it.  Consequently, I plotted my New York Times bestselling book, began writing an Oscar-winning screenplay, and even got published on McSweeney’s thanks to my brilliant friends, Vanessa and Joslyn.

Unfortunately—or rather, fortunately—a lot has changed since then.  Sitting in front of my computer weeks after my last blog post and four months into a relationship with an amazing guy, I can’t think of a thing to write about.  It’s as if without heartache, I got nothing.

I told Vanessa I suspected this would happen, to which she replied, “Good.”  She explained that it would actually be interesting to read something that wasn’t about a break up and that could fall into a category other than “heartbreaks.”

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But I never finished the post.  And although I planned to round it out with the romantic fairy tale of how I met Seattle guy, how we fell in love, and how we would live happily ever after, I couldn’t get the ending.  And sadly, I still can’t.  Unexpectedly, Mister Amazing was only amazing at being amazing.  When push came to shove, and we got a little too real, he crumbled.  Consequently, so did we.  I keep thinking about what I could have done differently to change the outcome.  And the answer is nothing.  And I guess he couldn’t have done anything differently either.  Because here’s the thing:  if we were meant to be together, neither of us would have needed to.  The End.

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